Random Anime: Part One!
by The Cullen Ninja
Summary: Ok, so here's the lowdown. Orochimaru's Kohona's newest physicartrist, right? And then there's Sasuke trying to teach him about sarcasm. Sounds crazy and funny huh? Well then, why are you just standing there! Read it already!


So WereVamp Lover and I wrote this through email being totally random. It came out being kind of funny, and we thought some of you guys would get a kick out of it. So here it is: Part One of the Random Anime Series: Sarcasm is a Pizza Place

Stuff in paranthesis is Out of Character stuff we said. Italized words are actions since it didn't like stars.

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Orochimaru[_to Sasuke_ Ok, Mr. Uchiha...today we're going to discuss the problems you are having with your past. Are they caused by the loss of your family or the fact that your brother beat to the punch of gaining the more powerful Sharingan?

Sasuke[_after a moment contemplation_ You know, nobody's ever asked me that before... Thanks for trying to be concerned[_crosses arms and acts all Sasuke-like_

Orochimaru[_gets all huffyin dude hairstyler voice_ Now, Sasuke!!! We will never get by these issues you have with your brother if you don't open up! Now back to weird sounding breathy voice what do you say?

Sasuke: Well then... [_retorts_ What do you say about that voice. It makes you sound gay. Not that you aren't.

Orochimaru[_eye twitches angrily_ If we were here to talk about my problems, I would be the patient lying on the couch and you would be the psychiatrist with the clipboard. [_sternly if that's possible with that voice of his_ Now, let's get back to your problems, Sasuke.

Sasuke: If we were here to talk about your probelms, I wouldn't be here. I'd be at the pizza parlor having Coca-Cola. Argue with that one!

Orochimaru[_looks confused_ We have a pizza place here in Konoha?

Sasuke[_--;_ It's called sacasasm... Ever heard of it?

Orochimaru[_even more confused_ Why would they name a pizza place "Sarcasm"????

Sasuke[_slaps hand to face_ No genius, sarcasm is what I'm using...

Orochimaru[_so confused it's hard to discribe_ How do you use a pizza place?!?!

Sasuke: Great. He's been taking stupid lessons from Naruto on how not to understand something...

Orochimaru[_pouts_ Hey! I didn't come here to be insulted!

Sasuke: And I didn't join the dark side for therapy!!!!! I join for the free cookies!!!!!!!

Orochimaru: Well too bad! I ate them all already[_sticks out long tongue_

Sasuke: Dang it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess I'll have to take this!!!!! takes Orochimaru's cake

Orochimaru: wails NOOOOOOO[_starts beating on Sasuke with clipboard_ GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!!!!!

Sasuke: WELL YOU ATE THE COOKIES SO I'M TAKING THE CAKE[_phoniex fire jutsu on Orochimaru_

Orochimaru[_brushes fire away with a wave of his hand_ That baby jutsu won't work on me, Sasuke. Now I'll show you a jutsu! makes rapid handseals POOF!!![_Orochimaru appears as a girl_ Ninja Centerfold!

Sasuke[_covers eyes rapidly_ NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! How could you dare submit anyone to THAT torture!!!!!!! You just look like yourself with boobs!!!!!!!

Orochimaru[_still in girl formcrosses arms and pouts_ How insulting! Well, tough guy, let's see you do it better!

Sasuke: Who said I wanted to[_sticks out tongue_

Orochimaru: Well, what do you know? All the Uchihas are chickens...[_shrugs_ Not too surprising actually...

Sasuke[_anime mad thing_ I'll prove you wrong!!!![_turns into girl form who looks almost like Itachi_

Orochimaru[_changes back into guy form_ (is there really any difference???)[_O.O face_ O...M...G...

[_behind Sasuke in creepy vioce_ Just what do you think you're doing...?

Sasuke[_doesn't turn around_ What do you think I'm doing? I'm mocking Orochimaru. (Oooh, oooh, I bet I know who it is!!!!!!!)

Jiraiya[_puppy eyes_ You show that lovely artistic form to OROCHIMARU but not ME[_dramatic fall onto knees and sobs_ Why, Sasuke?!??! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?! (Bet you didn't see that one coming, did ya?)

Saske: Err... (Errrr...No)

Jiraiya[_basically sobbing_ How could you do this to me! It only proves what Naruto's been saying!!!

Sasuke[_eyes Jiriaiya suspiously_What's wonder chicken been saying...?

Jiraiya[_still sobbing like a moron_ You really have been practicing that jutsu to show Ororchimaru!!! You really are a cruel person, Sasuke Uchiha!!!

Sasuke: Right... Go cry to Sai...

Jiraiya[_having hearing problems_ But I don't wanna cry to Gai! He's weird!!!

Orochimaru: He said Sai you moron...

Jiraiya[_dancing around_ Gai and Sai! Gai and Sai! Hey, that rhymes!!!

Sasuke[_slaps hand to face_ [_mumbles_

Naruto[_randomly appears from nowhere_ Sasuke-Kun, I shall now take you back to Kohona with me!!!!!!!

Sasuke[_looks at Naruto with glare_ Why are you calling me that???? Only Sakura is allowed to call me that[_uses sword/chidori combo he learns from Orochi and sends Naruto flying_

Orochimaru[_kindergarten teacher voice_ Now, Sasuke, you know that wasn't very nice! Go sit in time out right now[_points to chair in a corner_

Jiraiya[_giggling like a maniac_ [_singing_ Sasuke's in trouble! Sasuke's in trouble!

Sassuke[_uses it on Jirariya_ SHUT UP[_sulks as he goes to the corner throws a temper trantrum_ BUT I DON'T WANNA SIT IN THE CORNER[_cries like Kindergatner_

[_hole appears in the floor beside the chair, Sakura emerges from the hole holding a plastic spoon_

Sakura[_holds out hand to Sasuke_ Come with me if you want to live...[_whisper_s to marry me!

Sasuke: Err...

Orochimaru[_has extra ordinary hearing_ No, Sasuke's gonna marry me!

Sakura[_faces turns red with anger screams her head off_ NO, I WILL NOT!!! I WILL NOT LOSE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS TO A TRANSEXUAL FREAK LIKE YOU, YOU GIRL WANNABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasuke: Well I don't want to marry either one of you. I want to marry Gaara.

[_big eyes from all characters_

**The End.  
or is it...?**

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So how did you like it? Reveiw and let us know! Part Two is Deathnote and Part Three is Inuyasha! You never know what we're going to do next, so you'll just have to author alert the two of us and find out!


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